TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE FRENCH:
  1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
  2. Experienced the joy of winning the world cup for the first time after drugging the opposition
  3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
  4. If there's a war you can surrender early.
  5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
  6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
  7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
  8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street without humiliating your sense of national pride.
  9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just go in the street.
  10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE AMERICAN:

  1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
  2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
  3. You can call Budweiser 'beer'.
  4. You can be a crook and still be president.
  5. If you have enough money you can get elected to do nothing.
  6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
  7. You get to be obese.
  8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
  9. You get to call everyone you've ever met "buddy".
  10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. 10a. When you're not. 10b. at all.

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE CANADIAN:

  1. It beats being an American.
  2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
  3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
  4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
  5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
  6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
  7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
  8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
  9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
  10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE AUSTRALIAN:

  1. Know your great-grand-dad was murdering scum that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
  2. Fosters Lager (although it's brewed in the UK!)
  3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 4,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
  4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
  5. Tact and sensitivity.
  6. Bondi Beach.
  7. Other beaches.
  8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
  9. Being the world champs at Aussie Rules football
  10. Very well mannered and cultured

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE ENGLISH:

  1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo dah doo-dah.
  2. Warm beer.-
  3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
  4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
  5. Union jack underpants.
  6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
  7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
  8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
  9. Ditto changing underwear.
  10. Beats being Welsh. 10a. Or Scottish. 10b. Or N. Irish

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE SOUTH AFRICAN:

  1. Being able to win the world cup rugby the first time you enter the competition.
  2. Get to eat raw dried meat and call it a treat.
  3. Stable and politically safe economy.
  4. Thinking that gays only live outside the country.
  5. Having a flag which looks more like Joseph's Technicolor dream coat
  6. Having 11 official languages and only being able to speak one
  7. Having an ex convict as your president.
  8. Having one of the most honest postal services in the world.
  9. Being able to charge tourists to visit areas of unrest
  10. You can drive drunk

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE ITALIAN:

  1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
  2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
  3. No need to worry about tax returns.
  4. Glorious military history prior to 400 a.d.
  5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
  6. Political stability.
  7. Flexible working hours.
  8. Live near the Pope.
  9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
  10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE SPANISH:

  1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
  2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
  3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
  4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
  5. Everybody else makes lousy paella and claims it's the real thing.
  6. Honesty.
  7. Only sure way of meeting a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
  8. You get to eat bulls' testicles.
  9. Gibraltar.
  10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE GERMAN:

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE DUTCH:

  1. You can ride your bicycle everywhere you want to
  2. If your bicycle gets stolen, you just steal somebody else's
  3. Amsterdam
  4. You can smoke weed anywhere without getting arrested
  5. You are allowed to hate Germans
  6. Heineken
  7. You can go to a soccer match and throw rocks at policemen afterwards
  8. You can go to the red light district if you're over 12
  9. You can buy beer if you're over 6
  10. You can ride your bicycle drunk

TEN REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE IRISH:

  1. Guinness.
  2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
  3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
  4. Pubs never close.
  5. Get to eat potatoes with every meal for the rest of your life.
  6. No one can ever remember the night before.
  7. Kill people you don't agree with.
  8. Stew.
  9. More Guinness.
  10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN

  1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
  2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do in your county.
  3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
  4. You are either a. like the Dutch, just less efficient; b. like the French, just less romantic; c. like the Germans
  5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer. Need I say more?
  6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.
  7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
  8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
  9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders
  10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:

Give them a second chance!

  1. Oktoberfest
  2. Oktoberfest-beer
  3. BMW
  4. VW
  5. Audi
  6. Mercedes
  7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world.
  8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
  9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
  10. Contrary to common belief, laughing is not forbidden by law.